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Just after midnight, I felt the first unmistakable contraction. I still had two days until my due date, but I knew it was time to get to the hospital. A bulldozer inside my uterus revved its engine, shifted into high gear, and rammed a baby out into the world less than two hours later. Her name would be Isobel, Izzy for short.

She weighed five pounds, three ounces, below the threshold for “normal.” This was surprising—I’d had an uneventful pregnancy, and in one of my last prenatal checkups, my obstetrician predicted that she’d weigh about seven pounds.

Did the doctor miscalculate my due date? I wondered. Should I have taken more prenatal vitamins? Eaten better, worked less?

…continue reading ‘Grieving the Future I Imagined for My Daughter’

Image: By File:Chromosome-upright.pngOriginal version: Magnus Manske, this version with upright chromosome: User:Dietzel65Vector:derivative work Tryphon – Own work based on: Chromosome-upright.png, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=5285797

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